Jason and I are going back through and re-watching the "Friday Night Lights" series on Netflix. Oh how I love that show. More times than I can count I'm telling Jason, "That's us!", when it comes to the
emotional but supportive wife, Tammy, and the strong-headed but willing to do or give anything husband, Coach Taylor. There's a mantra that Coach Taylor's high school football team always says before going out and crushing their opponents every Friday night: Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. That fits us pretty perfectly this past week.
We arrived at our final, planned destination this week in Gulf Shores, Alabama. It is BEAUTIFUL here! Not once in my 39 years of life have I dreamed of walking on crystal white, sandy beaches with
warm waters and no harsh winds, and think of Alabama as the perfect destination to make that happen. Yet here we are, and it is dreamy. We came here to attend a family wedding for Jason's cousin's daughter (I looked that term up, Tori would genealogically be called Jason's "first cousin once removed" but that feels off-putting, so I'm sticking with "Jason's cousin's daughter". Think I'll just stick with "Tori" from here on out). I actually haven't met any of Jason's side of the family (only vicariously through Facebook) that was a part of the wedding, with the exception of Jason's Aunt Clara and Uncle Keith. Keith and Clara used to live close to us in Oregon until moving to Missouri to be closer to their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. One of their grandchildren being Tori, the bride. Months ago Clara invited us to come crash the wedding if we happen to be in the area during our travels. We couldn't provide a solid answer, only "if it works out, then we'd love to be there" type of answer. Turned out, we made it a point to be here, and I am so grateful we did.
A few of our recent conversations Jason and I have been wading through have revolved around "Now what?" or "Where to next?" We are all desperately missing our family, friends, and familiar routines of home. My heart and mind consistently drift to my mom, thousands of miles away, as she and Dad navigate through her kidney failure and impending dialysis. Out here on the road, my family is having an incredible adventure full of once in a lifetime opportunities while my mom is in the trenches of the health and medical field back home. The guilt and sorrow I carry is very real, and very heavy. Then
there's all of the October birthdays we have missed. It has always been tradition on both sides of the family that we celebrate birthdays together. So far, we have already missed four birthday celebrations. That is four, blaring days on the calendar that we all recognize and know we're missing out on seeing our families. Four lifetime moments we missed and can't get back. Two more birthdays and Halloween are on the very near horizon, and those too, will be a reminder that we're on our own out here, far away from family and our hearts' home. This is where Jason and I's questions of what to do next come in - do we continue over to Florida where we are readily available to see and buy our catamaran, or do we circle the wagon around and point back towards home and family that we dearly miss? Maybe that's why we planned our route to come to Alabama for the wedding. Maybe that's why we only stayed at places for one or two nights when we could have easily stayed for a week or longer. Maybe we all knew we needed to be here. Our hearts longed for familiarity and the comfort of home, and this wedding delivered an abundance of love we were desperate for.
Tori and Ben's wedding was gorgeous and picture perfect for a magazine spread. Tori and her bridesmaids were stunning as they stood on the sands of the gulf shore, dresses flowing gently in the breeze. There was no doubt that Tori and Ben were deeply loved, cherished, and celebrated all
weekend. Aunt Clara was enlisted as a 'Flower Grannie' along with Ben's grandma, and they were absolutely precious walking down the aisle. Bride and Groom's respective families bustled around
behind the scenes preparing food, building wedding arches, creating bouquets and cakes, and keeping the celebration flowing. Tori was the most attentive, generous, and kind bride I have ever seen. Every single person at that wedding felt included and noticed because she made a point to talk with everyone genuinely and personally. I stayed in the background with the boys and tried to take it all in. The beauty, the chaos, the love, the joy. All of it. My cup was filling, and I was here for it.
The pinnacle of our four-day stay for the wedding wasn't actually the wedding though. What we needed most and was, by far, the best part of being here was the family time outside the wedding day.
Aunt Clara invited us to breakfast the morning after we arrived here. For the first time in a couple weeks, we were greeted by family. With hugs and giant smiles. By people that know us and love us. We sat down at a long table, all of us together, talking and catching up on decades of stories. It felt so good to be with family again - even if most of the family around that table I had never met in-person before. It was family. There was connection, shared history, and acceptance among us at that table.
Then, fast-forward to after the wedding, Clara, Keith, their son Brent, and Brent's family stayed an extra couple of days to unwind and relax on the beach before heading back to their homes. They
invited Jason, the boys, and I to come over and relax with them yesterday. We spent time with them enjoying the white sands and warm waters before heading back inside and chatting. We shared life lessons in buying, selling, and renting. Brent and his wife, Jen, helped with offering suggestions on how I can navigate my mom's journey through kidney failure. Our family of five were able to be completely immersed in quality time with family. I don't think any of them will ever know how much our family needed them on this leg of our journey.
Tears are streaming as I think back over this past week with family. A person is made to love, show love, and be loved. Jason's family showed up for us in ways I don't think I even recognized how much we needed. Our hearts are full again. Now Jason and I can look forward with clear eyes on our future and goals. Now, maybe, we can answer that nagging question, "What next?"
So here's to TV mantras, the breath-taking shores of Alabama, and a family's ability to shower love on a few weary travelers.
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