40: Good Girl

Two days ago I started mentally writing this blog. Two days ago I was thinking I would write about the surreal hikes we took along the rocks and cliffsides of Utah. Two days ago I was remembering what it felt like to be so small in a world so vast while standing under one of Canyonlands most famous rock arches. Two days ago I would have blogged about the king in our midst: Cord Oakley Luke, 4th grader, free ticket to all national parks. I would have mentioned how puffed up Cord’s chest gets every time the park ranger asks to speak with the 4th grader of the family. Two days ago, our road trip towards family in Kansas City, Missouri was going swimmingly.

Today, we mourn the loss of our very best girl, Sage. At almost 12 years old, Sage was with us through most of Jason and I’s relationship. Bear and Cord don’t know life without her. Ryan barely does. Jason picked up Sage on his way home from a work trip in February 2012. I was six months pregnant and trying to manage horrible, debilitating sickness. But one look at Sagey Girl’s puppy photo, and I sent Jason on a mission to go get her. We only lost one pair of flip-flops to her puppy chewing days. She was most certainly the easiest puppy we’ve ever raised.

In 2021, when our family decided to sell just about everything and hit the road in an RV, people volunteered by the masses to adopt Sage from us. Even the kind plumber that heard of our travel plans offered to keep her. Sage was just that wonderful. If you met her, and were ok with getting some hair on your pants when she came to say hello, you’d love her. Sage was already 9 at the time, and showing signs of old age, and weak joints, so we knew that we would keep her with us. Enjoy the time she had left. Over three years later, and our big girl kept traveling right along with us. Traveling brought her new life and we had our puppy back.

On this second trip across the U.S., Sage started falling more. She couldn’t manage the RV stairs without a lot of coaxing and assistance. She slept more, walked less. It was hit-and-miss if she would eat on any particular day. Her walks were non-existent. Then, the last couple of days, she’d lost control of her bowels. We knew it was time, and her body was giving up on her.

We arrived in Dodge City, Kansas yesterday afternoon after a hard travel day with Sage. We spoke with a very kind vet, and we spent our final night with Sage loving and telling her what a good girl she was. This morning, we said goodbye.

Now our family has a new dynamic. We’re a best friend down, and need to find a new way to navigate our lives without her. We sure miss her. The vet said letting her go was the last best act of love we could show Sage. It sure doesn’t feel like love. It feels like we failed her. It feels like I want to take it back. It feels like hell. Like we’re leaving her behind.

Two days ago, I was thinking about this blog and the cool adventures we went through over the last week. Today, I miss my Good Girl, Sage. Today, we cry and hold on tight to that unconditional love only a pet can express.

So here's to our Sagey Girl, to the gal that was always up for another trip, to our very best girl.