I told myself, and others, that I would not be writing my blog while we are home here in eastern Oregon, waiting for clarity and direction on my Mom's kidney dialysis, transplant, and overall health status. I felt that my mom's story is not mine to tell, and since we're back home to support her and my family, I didn't have much else to share.
But it's not true! Our life is exciting, untraditional, and packed to the gills with sudden choices that bring us joy, pain, discomfort, and closer to one another. So, yes, there is definitely an update on my mom's health journey and where we fit into that path, but I also felt compelled to write about what we have been up to for the last five weeks since being back home.
To recap, at the beginning of March, we packed up our campsite in southern Florida, and drove across the U.S. to Oregon where we are back home with our families. The race across the country came when my mom's health took a frighteningly quick dive to terrible. By the time we got home, Mom's mental strength was clear and steady again, but there were no answers. My first two weeks home, I spent the majority of time with my parents. They were still running Mom's daycare in the midst of dialysis treatments every other day, doctor's appointments, and the obvious physical and mental weakness that comes with all of the above.
Much to Mom's chagrin, I invited myself to all of her appointments. I wanted in on ALL of it - dialysis treatments, social worker, nurse, kidney doctor, primary doctor, lab results - give me all the information. I wanted every detail out on the table so I could attempt to organize and process what was ahead for all of us. I spoke up, asked the dumb questions, followed-up with more questions and choices for Mom. Turns out, it's a long process. Kidney failure is not for the faint of heart. I've seen a new top-level strength from my mom and dad through all of it. Dad has a servant's heart for my mom that I never witnessed growing up. He cooks, cleans, shops, cares for the babysitting kids, and mostly, he's doting on Mom. He's wearing his heart on his sleeve these days. He breaks down, he pulls through, he gets frustrated at the process, and he loves his wife. Mom has had to let go of some of the house responsibilities - which isn't easy for her, but she's doing it with grace. I see a drive, a light, and hope in my mom again.
Determination has set in, and she's doing the work. Physical therapy, dialysis, exercise, following the diets, taking the pills - she's committed to her future, and I'm here for it. Yes, the bad days still come around. The pain can still get unbearable after dialysis wipes her body, or the frustration of stopping her life three times a week for five-hour dialysis treatments still rises up, but the end goal is worth it. I hope she stays in the fight and sees how many people are cheering her on and lifting her up.
May 10th is a crucial date for my family. May 10th is when Mom sits in front of the transplant committee and pleads her case to be a viable candidate for a new kidney. The panel of doctors and experts will review her history, charts, records, and health status, then decide if they can move forward with the transplant. Mom's local social worker and kidney doctor seem to think she's an excellent candidate and have been coaching her in this direction for a while. I pray the committee sees it that way, too. Hoping for a positive outcome, and Mom is approved for transplant, then the work starts for my sisters and I. As potential living donors for Mom, us four daughters start the tedious process of testing to be a match for her. Blood draws, questionnaires, physical testing, CT scans, MRIs, interviews before doctors and experts are all part of the process. I fear that within all this testing, a health scare will come to light for one of us girls, but bigger than that, I'm terrified that we will all be disqualified as a donor. I desperately want my mom to have her life back, and getting her a new kidney would certainly go a long way in achieving that goal. The longer the process, the more I fear for the worse.
All that to say, May 10th will be a pivotal point on our wild journey. Not just for my mom and dad, but for Jason and I's family as well. There's a lot of unknowns ahead for Jason and I after the May 10th decision is handed down. If Mom is a candidate, then we continue to reside in eastern Oregon while I test to be a donor. If I'm a match, then we maintain our residence here until Mom and I have recovered sufficiently from surgery. After surgery, then the path is wide open - do we resume our boat search? Do we hit the road and travel the U.S.? Do we want to continue to stay close, and therefore get ourselves back into the daily grind of the American dream again with jobs and a house? Is there a new path waiting for us that we haven't even considered yet? Then there's the other side of the coin. If my mom is denied a transplant (either permanently or temporarily), then Jason and I will be answering our "What next?" questions a lot sooner. Jason and I maintain the mentality of openness. Our journey so far has proven that we have no idea the possibilities that are yet to come. And what we think we have planned for, may not be where our road takes us.
But one major item in our lives became very clear on our travel back home from Florida. We are going to be living in an RV for a lot longer than originally anticipated (we thought about three months, and we're now going on eight!), and ol' Wanda just wasn't cuttin' the mustard for us anymore. Don't get me wrong, Wanda is sturdy, reliable, and has proven herself over and over again as she carried us across the country TWICE, but the bed situation is no longer adequate for us and the boys. Ryan is sleeping diagonally, but still too tall for the dinette bed, and Bear and Cord are getting too big to (amicably) share a hide-a-bed sofa. Not to mention having to set up and take down their beds every day is cumbersome and overly annoying. Jason and I decided we needed an upgrade in space.
The boys need "real" beds, so an RV with the bunkbed option was a must. After living in Wanda for half a year, we knew what we needed and created quite the picky list of must-haves for our new home. After searching for the last month, we were able to get our hands on the best RV we could find that fit our bill. Introducing our newest home, Towanda! (Get it? Like Wanda Two, but we went with the movie 'Fried Green Tomatoes' quote and named her T(w)owanda. Clever, I know). We'll be picking up this classy lady on Thursday, and to say I'm excited about the move is a serious understatement.
As it sits right now, Jason and I are temporarily sleeping in my sister's travel trailer that she graciously let us use so we can empty out Wanda to get her fixed up and sold. But our stuff is all over the place. Some of it is in the under compartments of Wanda. Some of it we packed into my sister's trailer for our "every day" needs. Then there's our boat stuff, tools, toys, games, etc that are stored in Jason's parents' barn, and, since we're currently hooked up at Jason's parents' house with the trailer, the boys have decided to move into the house with Grandma and Popa instead of staying in the trailer (which, truly, isn't big enough for them to sleep here anyway). We are blessed beyond measure to have Jason's parents accommodate our family in such a huge and loving way, but having our lives strewn about in multiple places is stressing me out. The next week will be a very exhilarating time for me as I organize and put our lives together into ONE location. Ok, maybe two locations, but it will definitely be organized, by golly!
Although our time back in Oregon has mostly revolved around getting my mom and dad squared away and swapping rigs around, we have certainly had our share of memorable moments as well.
A few of these many things that we are able to be a part of again now that we're at home base are:
First, and most importantly, we are able to spend time with our family and friends again. Meeting for coffee, game nights, family dinners, and celebrating birthdays have all happened while we've been back.
The boys are able to reconnect with friends that they have missed desperately.
Impromptu dinner invites can happen because we're so close again.
We even drove down to Arizona for Spring Break to get a week's worth of fun and family (and warmth!!) with Grandpa and Nana.
Drivers use their turn signals here!
Boys have joined the local Jiu-Jitsu gym and are being challenged in new ways while also making connections with like-minded kids.
Barrett took a turn on a 4-wheeler that didn't have brakes and found himself bouncing off a barb-wired fence.
Cord and Barrett have both come down with wicked colds that didn't want to let go.
Homeschooling is still happening, much to the boys' dismay.
I was able to get back into the saddle of my dear friend, John Deere, and mow the in-laws' yard (yardwork is my zen).
I can drive to the grocery store without having to enter it into my GPS.
We eat at our favorite local restaurants.
On the flipside, after being home for a few weeks there are a few things I miss about being on the road, specifically in southern Florida:
THE HEAT!! Can it please warm up here already?!
Our adventures to explore yet another new destination we had arrived in.
Wearing shorts - because IT'S WARM.
There's a kindness and comradery in RV parks (especially the 55 and older communities) that I don't see here. Strangers are approachable, share their stories, and have a general warmth in their smiles as you pass them when we shared spaces in all the parks we stayed.
And also, I miss the sun! Why is it still so cold here in Oregon? I can't get enough layers on my body to stop the shivers. Why is it snowing in April?!? Come on, Spring, do better.
So here's to finding peace in the unrest, to May 10th bringing answered prayers, and to the comforts of being home again.
留言